WHY IT IS NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE TO HAVE A CAR THAT IS JUST A CAR

Remember the days when a car was just a car? You drove from A to B in an old banger that you typically humanized with a name like ‘Marvin’. He was a piece of shit, but you felt a weird affinity with him, a co-dependant relationship if you will.

But gone are the days of Marvin. For he was just a car, and who wants just a car when you can have a car that does more things than a car does?

No-one, that’s who.

We believe it was probably the mobile phone that kick started this weird trend of one thing becoming five different things – a camera, a video recorder, a watch, an alarm clock, a laptop. And cummon’ now, like who the hell actually needs Siri? Blind people maybe. But other than that, it’s not a necessity, it’s effectively just a quicker way of googling shit.

TV’s are another one that entered the mix. My TV is now my DVD Player, VHS recorder, On demand player AND my TV time machine. I’ll watch what I want when I want and all for just £29.99 per month – thank you very much Sky+, because of you we now have a 24/7 hour window of opportunity to watch clips of models falling down catwalks in slow motion on repeat… #winning

Quite simply the advances in technology are condensing everything into one big mega… thing. And cars are merely following in suit with other gadgets’ rapid evolution.

So what have we got?

The Butler Car – Kia

Always good. Who can be bothered with parking anymore anywayz? Screw that, get your car to do it!

The Cleaner Car – Nissan

And who can be bothered washing a car anymore? We had car washes but they take ages and you always end up feeling like you’re the cause of a queue.

The Car That Drives Itself – Google

Because otherwise it’s just like you know, effort.

The App CarGoogleglass car – Hyundai

Hmmmmm, not quite sure that one’s going to pass the health and safety test.

A good thing, a bad thing, a down right unnecessary thing – whatever way you look at it, so long as technologies keep evolving so will our gadgets. And that’s pretty much what you can now class the majority of modern cars as nowadays, big expensive gadgets.